So Long, & Thanks For All The Rice

It's the end of my trip, and time to go home. I can't quite believe it.

So, how has it been for me? In short, bloody fantastic. I've met some of the greatest people of my life, both Nepali and otherwise. There have been some major challenges and ups and downs, and at times it's been really tough. But it's been absolutely worth it and I've had a great time.

To summarise, here are some top things I definitely won't miss: -

8) Honking horns and barking dogs. Honestly, dogs bark SO much here, and the locals don't seem to mind. But sometimes it makes sleeping virtually impossible.

7) Classes of 45 screaming kids driving me insane. Enough said.

6) Transportation problems: I've had some very interesting experiences with travel here, from taxis with no suspension along some of the worst roads I've ever seen (outside my school for example) to holding children in my lap and being used as a public leaning post on a bus. Of particular interest was my drive back from the village trek. Not on a road, as would seem sensible, but lurching precariously down a dry river bed, threatening to fall over any second.

However, this pales into comparison compared to LangTang, where I was squashed on the back row as the bus threatened to topple over the cliff edge and I struggled to avoid the smelly sick of the vomiting woman in front of me. Then there was the occasion of the window glass shattering all over me on the way to Lumbini, and of course endless strikes. We complain about the British transportation system, but trust me - in comparison it's marvelous!

5) Eating difficulties - especially rice everyday, twice a day ...and I particularly won't miss jack fruit. Now, don't get me wrong - I really like curry. And I quite like rice. I even like Dal. But everyday, several times a day? Once a day I could deal with, twice a day was a bit much, three times a day was just freaking ridiculous. There were points when I didn't think I could carry on shoving the stuff down my neck and the thought of another meal with people staring at me just made me want to puke.

It's not that the food isn't nice, it's the repetition. Just think of your favourite meal, and seriously consider whether you could actually eat if three times a day. Trust me, it would soon lose it's novelty. And of course, there's the fact that sometimes the food makes people very ill - not pleasant, especially when combined with the next item on my list...

4) Stinky squat toilets. Now, the theory is that squat toilets are healthier for you - squatting is supposedly a better position to be in than sitting. This may be true, if the toilet isn't so rank that you can't breathe, your eyes water, your mind boggles at the sight and you might pass out in a heap of someone else's dodos.

Special mention must go to Tibet on this subject. My trusty LP says China's toilets are particularly bad, but that Tibetan loos are in a league of their own. I'm hoping anywhere else I go in the world will now seem luxurious in comparison.

3) Cold showers. Yeah, I know, maybe you think this makes me a bit of a wimp. But I'm not just talking cold showers - I'm talking freezing showers. However, this beats the times when there hasn't been any water...which is fairly often.

2) Random health issues. As well as the obvious Delhi belly issues that afflict most travellers to these parts at some points, I've had a number of strange ailments - from bizarre allergies to glass cuts all over my legs. My feet appear to have dandruff, they are so wrecked. My top illnesses have been the ridiculously bad cough I got in Tibet, and my allergy to my school.

I'm not talking a psychological allergy here... I went to the (nice but very expensive) doctors in Kathmandu. The doc took a look inside my nose and said "Your nose is so swollen I'm surprised you can still breathe...where are you living?". I told him. He said this was probably the worst place I could live, and could I go somewhere else for a bit for the benefit of my heath. I was like, "Well, I'm volunteering so it's a bit difficult". He said, "You should really try and bathe in hot water at least three times a day". I said, "I don't have hot water... sometimes I don't even have water..." you get the picture.

1) Pollution, kids crapping outside my bedroom and so on. This has seriously been one of the most distressing aspects of living in Nepal - especially the seeming reluctance of anyone (government or individual) to take responsibility or do anything about it.

And my top things I will definitely miss: -

8) The sense of freedom and not having to work. Need I say more?!

7) The peace and tranquility of places like Boudhanath, one of my favourite places, where the Buddhist stupa is.

6) The cheapness..."What do you mean a beer will set me back three quid in London?! Outrageous! I can feed a family on rice and Dal for a week with that!

5) The weather...the monsoon has actually caused virtually no problems for me, and I'm not looking forward to getting back to the cold, the rain and the wind. I am usually cold, except in Nepal!

4) The entertainment gained from Engrish and from the (sometimes blindingly obvious) cultural differences. Often things just don't seem to make sense. Why is it ritually polluting for a woman to enter the kitchen when menstruating?! Do you want to go 'treeking'? Some of my recent favourites (from Tibet) include the 'Pesteraunt' and 'Sheep Guset House'.

3) The ability to experience something totally different everyday. One day I'm playing 'Amrita Says' and singing Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes, the next I'm visiting some amazing monastery in the hills, the next I'm trekking through the mountains or jungle. Yesterday, I had an ayurvedic massage for the first time, which was fun - a lady massaged my boobs, popped all my joints, clapped a lot and karate chopped my head!

2) The landscape... nothing quite compares to the Himalayas and having mountains all around you. The scenery in both Nepal and Tibet is awe-inspiring.

1) The people - both the locals who've been endlessly entertaining and generous (often despite having so little), and the other travellers I've met, and shared some amazing experiences with. And o course, I will miss the kids and their endless enthusiasm, funny questions and humour.

Speaking of people, I now have to go and say my goodbyes, which will be really sad. But hopefully I'll be back before too long. It may well be Never Ending Peace And Love for me...Looking forward to seeing everyone soon xox

Seven Days In Tibet...And Then Some

So, on the morning of Holly's birthday, we got up early to go and
catch our bus to Tibet... Right from the start it was clear things
weren't going to be straight forward, as our 'guide' drove on his
motorbike while we walked behind him (weird!), then we waited an hour
on the bus to go. We were going as part of a tour group, as this is
the only way to get into Tibet from Nepal...and some 'characters' were
already making their presence felt...

We drove up winding roads through Nepal on the crazy bus to the
checkpoint, where things started to seem a little insane, and I began
to wonder if Tibet was such a great idea. Money changers started
hassling us, the place was really overcrowded and there was a distinct
lack of English - the main forms of communication were miming, pushing
and grunting.

The first hurdle was that there appeared to be no visa for me, meaning
I couldn't legally be allowed into the country. It turned out my visa
had been given to an American/Hawaiian named Matt, whose name is
nothing like mine, and neither is his temperament (more on that
later). After a while I had a visa and could proceed through the first
checkpoint, where I was bemused to find the Chinese official pointing
a small green gun at me (to take my temperature...checking I didn't
have SARS, or some bizarre tropical disease?).

We then got into our Jeep, and proceeded to the next checkpoint, which
our (slightly mad?) driver drove straight through and had to be
swiftly called back! I then had my passport detained for an age, as
Chinese/Tibetan men poured over it with a magnifying glass - what were
they looking for? Do I really look that suspicious? I had hidden all
my ammo about my person, along with my class A drugs, and I'm not
currently planning any terrorist activities so I don't know what they
had to be worried about really ;-)

Finally I was released into Tibet/China, where we were first staying
in Zhangmu, relatively low down, due to construction of the roads -
this was to have a significant impact on our trip later... We stayed
in communal dorms and had Holly's birthday dinner with some nice
English folks (though of course Hol wouldn't let me tell anyone it was
her b'day!).

The next day, we got up at ridiculous o'clock (this seems to be a
theme for my travelling) and started driving up crazy steep roads
under waterfalls, over mountains and through passes. Though it was
dark when we set out, I could see the scenery was gorgeous. Holly and
I were sharing Jeep Two with the aforementioned Hawaiian Matt and
Mariane, a lovely Dutch girl, along with a driver who seems to have
split personality disorder. One moment he was happy and singing or
chuckling away to himself, the next he was getting really aggro,
making strange gestures at us and attempting to hit Matt... though I
think some people on our tour could empathise with this ;-) Our driver
spoke no English whatsoever apart from 'OK...OK...OK', which led to
some amusing and sometimes very difficult situations. You would have
thought that people who've been driving tourists for years would
understand the word toilet, without the need for dramatic
improvisations, but no - dramatic improvisations it was.

By the third day, we thought we'd have to switch drivers as the
atmosphere was so inharmonious - take one strange driver who doesn't
speak and a very enthusiastic, expressive American, put them in a car
for 12 hours at altitude and what do you get? I'm sure you can picture
the scene. But we managed to sort things out with a little patience
and understanding... It's so interesting to see how situations can
spiral out of control due to communication difficulties.

As we drove through the Himalayas and across the Tibetan plateau, we
saw some truly incredible sights. It was awe-inspiring, and no matter
what I say it's impossible to convey the sheer magnificence of it all.
There was most amazing sense of space, so beautiful and so varied too
- one minute going through mountains, the next across completely flat
land surrounded by hills, seeing sand dunes, turquoise lakes and the
brightest greens and yellows I've ever seen. And my God, the sky feels
so close! I really did feel on the roof of the world. Holly and Matt
took over the chief roles as Tibetan paparazzi, and we had a great
time in our Jeep gawping at the landscape and sharing our views with
each other.

Now, as I said, on our first night we stayed low, so on our second day
we ascended about 3000m in one day, which was way too much. At the end
of
the day, Jeep Two was definitely the centre of the action. We had stopped our
Jeep around ten minutes before our final destination, when a lorry
drove and hit
a child, which ran out in front of it. Being a doctor, Martine the Dutch girl
rushed onto the scene to fix her.

I was watching what was going on from a distance ready to intervene
and tell all the voyeuristic tourists and concerned locals to step
back and let Martine do her job. Meanwhile, Holly had disappeared off
the toilet, when I heard weak cries of "Amelia, Amelia", and turned to
see her virtually collapsed against another jeep trying not to faint
with AMS (acute mountain sickness - basically altitude sickness). I
helped her back and laid her in the car, at which point Matt got
confused and thought Martina had put the girl in our car and the
driver tried to drive off with Holly's feet hanging out of the car...
Some locals wanted to help and got into 'an animated discussion' with
Matt...but eventually we made it to the hotel (if you can call it
that) and into our dorm.

By this point, lots of people were sick with one thing or another from
the altitude, and the state of the so-called hotel didn't help
matters. Checking the shower facilities, I was a little concerned to
see a black rat with a long tale running across the floor, and even
more concerned to see that a mysterious door in our room had a rat
shaped hole in it - and our other door had no lock. Some of you may
remember my rating system for toilets in Nepal. Well, Tibet/China is
much worse - I think I may need to develop a new system especially.
The toilets at this particular hotel were pretty bad, and during our
journey many were absolute shitholes - literally. I have never seen so
many drop pits where you can see and smell every shit that has ever
been done - at least it seems that way!

But, by the third day, we were staying in pretty nice places and a lot
of people were feeling better (though it was around then that Holly
spent seven hours going to the bathroom...which we now had, attached
to our twin room - thankfully!). We started visiting monasteries and
other significant places, which was great - everywhere was so
beautiful and Tibet is like nowhere I've ever been before.

By day five, we were on the epic journey to Lhasa, and I was
distinctly under the weather with the worst sinusitis type thing you
could imagine. Well, I'm sure if you try really hard you can imagine
worse, but you see what I mean. This turned into a bronchitis type
affair and a host of other problems I'm sure you don't want to know
about... But I made it to the capital of Tibet! I did struggle through
those few days, and had to miss one excursion due to the need to lay
in bed doing nothing (I debated bed, or yet another monastery, and
it's not hard to guess which one won). It's difficult to get better at
altitude as your body is working so much more just to let you walk
around and do things.

So, the night I missed the excursion, I wasn't feeling well. I decided
maybe I'd better try and find some medicine. So I asked the lady at
reception. She doesn't speak English, so she rang one of the Tibetan
security-types. He came in, and misunderstood me as I explained, "I
want to go to a pharmacy to get some medicine". He had a long
conversation with the receptionist, then said "no message". I was like
"no, not message, medicine" and mimed coughing, which of course
spurred a real coughing fit! At which point he understood, tried to
explain where to go, and then decided to take me himself.

Off we went, picking up another man on the way. Why? All will become
clear! Eventually, we got to the pharmacy, where I did some elaborate
mimes, and spoke to the Tibetan guy in English. Who spoke to the other
man in Tibetan. Who spoke to the pharmacist in Mandarin. Who spoke to
the other man in Mandarin. Who spoke to the Tibetan guy in Tibetan.
Who spoke to me in English. So, the pharmacist spoke Chinese not
Tibetan, the other man spoke Mandarin and Tibetan but not English, the
Tibetan spoke Tibetan and English but not Mandarin. And then there was
me. Wacko! It was a very funny situation, especially as they kept
showing me pills with no English on and having detailed discussions
about my ailments which I couldn't understand. Eventually I plumped
for some acute bronchitis medication (which tastes vile, just in case
you're interested).

Despite the difficulties, my overriding impression of Tibet is really
positive. Seeing all these amazing monasteries and witnessing a life
that is so different is just incredible. Visiting the Potala (where
the Dalai Lamas lived until exiled) and watching monks and pilgrims
make their circuits around the Jokhang has been great. As I said
before, the landscape is awesome. And despite my initial reservations,
by and large the people have been nice.

There have also been some very amusing incidents here too. I will
never forget Holly doing impressions of a Chinese calculator to the
market stall keeper in the Barkhor ("NeeNongNAOOO...PingPong"). I
should explain that calculators here talk out loud, and are hilarious.
Holly purchased her own, then entertained everyone for hours when she
worked out that zero is "willy" and one of the other keys sounds like
"shit". "Willy willy shit willy shit shit" went Holly and her
calculator. We also got a lot of laughs from the 'special orange
juice', which is a bit like tuna surprise. Just as tuna surprise has
no tuna in, special orange juice is in fact not orange juice - but
watermelon and pear! Spanish and Irish guys stealing rickshaws and
Lhasa beer in Lhasa were some other highlights (I think beer at
altitude is always going to have an element of extra amusement).

On a different note, yesterday I had a great day walking with Samm (new
Aussie friend, crazy chick, bad influence ;-) ) around old Lhasa,
which gave me a totally different perspective on the city. We wandered
into a monastery, where there were no people aside from a few monks.
One monk was singing so beautifully I wanted to cry, and just stood
there for ages with my eyes shut. Then a particularly jovial monk
decided to show us round and wanted photos with us! It was a really
special experience, very different to being part of a tour group.

We also enjoyed taking momos with the locals, choosing Chinese sweets
in the market, staring at yak corpses with the hair still attached
(appetising), watching noodles being made at the noodle factory, being
laughed at (a lot... we were the only tourists all day!) and getting
lost in the Muslim quarter. Samm got obsessed with singing bowls, and everytime I lost her I would find her by the sound of yet another bowl ringing in the distance. Tomorrow we're off to the highest salt
water lake in the world...

Amrita & The Flashing Temple

Over the last week or so, Amrita's celebrity has continued.

 

I left my last blog set to visit a different school, where my friend Raj has placed 30 students - 18 orphans and 12 from very poor families. Immediately after I arrived, I felt like I was surrounded by paparazzi as the head teacher started taking a million photos of me receiving flowers and scarves from the little children, some of whom had been rescued from a life of glue sniffing on the streets to get an education. My friend formed an agreement to get them all through school at reduced cost, and now they are doing so well and have homes too.

 

The school was SO cute and the kids were so well behaved - much smaller classes than mine and not quite the same atmosphere of mayhem! I gave a donation of materials and presented all the teachers with resources, which were much appreciated  (some largely thanks to those of you who have sent stuff). Back at my own school outside the city, my fan club increased throughout the week, with kids knocking at my door and wanting to hold my hand - and on numerous occasions I've been asked for my autograph! Among the adults, I feel like I have minders - "What are you doing? Where were you last night? It's not safe to be out at night!".

 

The culmination of my celebrity took place over my birthday celebrations. Like the Queen, I decided to have more than one day's festivities - in fact, to have as many as possible (I expect to have some belated parties when I get back to the UK too ;-) ). On Friday night, I went for an awesome dinner with Raj and his wife Mita, where we drank wine and sang to Bonjovi (oh the nostalgia) and ate gorgeous Indian food (they are Indian Buddhists). I felt like a teenager again, ringing the school to say I was going to be back at 10pm (! I definitely won't miss having curfews!).

 

Then it was time for my final full day in school (Saturday). Throughout the morning as I was packing my belongings, kids knocked on my door asking me for supplies and saying, "Miss, please come to class soon!". After lunch and witnessing some arguments as the kids plotted something (kids are all the same in this respect!), I was duly summoned to the younger ones' homework classroom. I was greeted by a very enthusiastic rendition of Happy Birthday To You, in a room decorated with balloons and homemade decorations. The festivities continued as I took the children to downstairs and taught them the Hokey Cokey. The girls wowed me with Nepali dance demonstrations, while the boys played a highly intense game of Snap.

 

That evening was the highlight of the school's social calendar - Amrita's Birthday Party. I had prearranged to give the hostel children the night off homework, and has prepared some games for us to play. The kids sat in two circles, and we played pass the parcel with Nepali music, forfeits and prizes. This was greeted with enormous enthusiasm, and before long most of the school staff were in the room watching or joining in. Playing musical statues with everyone joining in has to be one of the most hilarious experiences I've had here - imagine tiny kids, teenagers and grown adults jumping around and dancing enthusiastically in Nepali/Indian style, then attempting to stand still for ages...

 

After this, I presented the children with one gift each (top marks to Caroline and Margs for your koalas and Aussie pencils!). I also received an array of interesting and highly amusing presents and cards. As you'd expect, I got a fair few handmade cards, which were all very sweet, and some bought ones too (some wishing me a Happy New Year, some Happy Dashain etc!). I received an 'I love you' card from three of the older boys, which played Fur Elise, a green and silver wind chime, plenty of fake (and some real) flowers, notebooks, pens and models saying 'Best Teacher' (woohoo!). I have two contenders for most hideous present. Don't get me wrong - I was immensely flattered and touched that the kids had gone to such an effort, and after so long volunteering I really did feel appreciated.

 

But two gifts really deserve special mention. Firstly, I was the lucky recipient of a windmill with teddy bears going round in a Ferris Wheel - I kid you not. Secondly, I received a flashing plastic temple, which plays Fur Elise. Truly kitsch - my Dad will love it ;-) So what's with the Fur Elise theme? Do these kids know that when I was younger, I used to play that particular Beethoven classic over and over again, must to the frustration of my parents? I also used to have a pink plastic comb that I used to use in school, must to the frustration of my teachers. See a theme here?! Who will I frustrate with my latest acquisitions...? Who knows when they'll turn up - watch out at Christmas and on your birthday!

 

By my actual birthday (July 1st), it was time to say goodbye to everyone at the school. Staff gave me presents - notebooks, books, jewellery etc. I certainly didn't need to worry that I would feel alone on the day. I visited all the classes I had taught to say goodbye - I've never had Happy Birthday sung to me so many times! After changing out of my sari for the last time here and eating one last 'tiffin', I got a taxi into town. A short while later, the lovely Holly turned up, all the way from Madrid, to celebrate with me in Kathmandu. Some steak and cocktails were consumed, and we're off to Tibet tomorrow. May the fun continue!