Nose-shitting & Other Japanese Oddities

Japan is a very bizarre but fantastic place. At once Western yet
distinctly Asian, it and its people are full of quirks. Here's a quick
snapshot of some of its oddities: -

Attitude to photo taking: people often make jokes about Japanese
tourists, but I swear they are actually worse in Japan itself. On my
first full day in the country, I was at Nagoya Castle, trying to look
at the exhibits in the museum. I say trying, because every time I went
to look at something, this Japanese couple stood in front of it to
take a photo of the woman, then the man. No matter how hard I tried,
they were everywhere I turned, leaping out from behind corners, posing
next to swords and grinning inanely at me. They didn't seem to
actually look at anything themselves, just take pictures.

In Kyoto, I was laying on the fake grass and fake earth (weird or
what?!) outside the Manga Museum, when my friend Ross bleeped me on
the walkie talkie he and Warren had bought (this gadget business is
evidently catching). He said "There's a man right behind you, he keeps
taking photos". I thought he was taking the mick, so didn't want to
give him the satisfaction of looking round for about five minutes. But
when I eventually looked, there actually was a man there, taking pics
of my fat ass as I lay there. I wonder what he planned to do with them
- you know what they say about Japanese men...

Obsessions: along with the aforementioned photo taking, many Japanese
people are in love with with Pachinko. This is a game played in huge
halls with neon blazing, involving loads of metal balls which make the
most enormous racket. So far, no one I've asked has successfully been
able to explain the rules. Other crazes include bizarre fashion - such
as wearing long socks with massive platform heels (and this is
including the men as far as I can tell) - mobile phone decorations,
love hotels, hello kitty, cars, technology, tea, Western people, over
packaging everything, remote controlled toilets (bum shower and
blowdry anyone?), vending machines (these sell all sorts of objects,
from pin-on badges and cigarettes to hot and cold coffee) and any kind
of accessory you could want to buy for anything, anywhere.

Bow offs: someone told me about this the other day, and I had to put
it to the test myself. If you go into a shop and you bow, the
shopkeeper must bow lower than you. If you bow again, lower, they must
once again bow lower - and so on. This can go on for some time, with
amusing and sometimes dizzying results.

Cultural/language oddities: - if you say 'HI!' it means yes, which can
be a little confusing given Brits often say it when meeting someone -
you can find yourself accidentally agreeing to something you
definitely don't want to do... You have to watch out when you're
drinking - "chin chin" means "penis penis". It's very rude to blow
your nose - not so affectionately known as taking a nose shit. There
are many fine examples of Engrish... and Japanese people are so nice,
polite and worrying about every little detail that it can be somewhat
unnerving. You just want to tell them to relax and take a chill pill.

Size: everything is either very big or very small - including the
people. On arriving, I did feel like a heffer. I mean, I know I'm no
sumo wrestler, but, once again in Asia, I felt like a bit of an oddity
and an amusement - especially when dancing next to the most
unbelievably skinny young ladies. But it's all good - I know that no
matter how much sushi I eat, I'll still be a good foot taller than
most of them!